World turned upside down
We met at uni, he was the year below me but 2 years younger and keen as a bean. I didn’t want a relationship while I was in my final year but it didn’t deter him. For 18 months he pursued me, told me I was the only one he wanted, the only girl in the world, perfection.
Once I graduated I tried to tell him long distance wouldn’t work. We’re both from London but went to uni in the north and he had a year left. It would never work I insisted, despite adoring him, despite wanting him and only him. But we were drawn to each other, no matter how hard I tried to pull myself away from him, it always ended up being him.
He was the only one for me.
So in early March 2020 I visited him at uni. We spent two amazing nights together and just before I left for home, we became official. 10 days later he got sent home from uni to isolate. 10 days after that we went into lockdown 1.
Lockdown, like it did for most people, turned our worlds upside down. His more than mine. His final exams were cancelled. His graduation was cancelled. His grad job was rescinded.
Over the 6 months from March to September he became distant, mean, sulky. He took all his negative emotions out on me, refused to see me (when we were allowed), showed me no enthusiasm, no affection, no love.
He wouldn’t acknowledge our relationship online and I spent nearly a week coaxing him to tell his parents about our relationship after I found out he hadn’t told them about me, 6 weeks into our relationship.
I went from dating a boy who thought I hung the moon, to begging my boyfriend for the barest minimum. I went from 24/7 communication, to barely 2 texts a day. I went from dating someone who did a 600 mile round trip to go for dinner with me to having a boyfriend who refused to do a 40 minute train journey to see me.
I went from being head over heels in love with a perfect guy, to crying myself to sleep each night.
And then, on an overcast Wednesday in September, 3 weeks after our 6 month anniversary, he ended our relationship over Snapchat.
Two years of love and friendship all in all, ended in a string of 13 messages, where he told me he felt ‘apathetic, indifferent and a lack of enthusiasm’ towards me.
5 weeks later he had a new girlfriend, splashed across his social media. He broke lockdown for her, posted her across all his stories and feeds, introduced to his family.
It’s been 4 months and I still think about him daily. He just started a new job, his new office is only 10 minutes from mine. I know when lockdown is over I will see him again and the hurt will be just as raw as it was in September. Just as raw as it is now.
Breakups are bad at the best of times, but breakups in lockdown are horrific, especially when one person pretends like it never even happened