Unicorn Feelds
It started during the pandemic. I know it's not exactly a non-contact sport but I was at the stage where I was horny as hell, lonely and fed up with dates wandering around parks with a can of G&T and covid-based conversations. I decided to join feeld. Feeld is an 'alternative' dating app for 'the open-minded'. At this point, I wasn't exactly vanilla, i'd dabbled in light BDSM and had a couple of flings with the same sex, but this app introduced me to a whole world of sexual experiences. Who knew a tickle fetish was a thing? Or footjobs were so lucrative? Or being shagged whilst your hands are on the hobs of your stove?(yup, really). I've had my fair share of one-night stands but I wanted something more adventurous, more exciting. I also didn't want the hassle of a relationship. I'd never heard the term 'unicorn' but it was an incredibly popular search on feeld. Mostly couples looking for a female playmate to join them for some no-strings fun. I decided to go for it.
The first interaction was on a barge. As I was walking down the canal path, getting closer and closer to my destination, with trepidation in every step, I was wondering what this evening would bring - Awkwardness? Sex? Just chatting and a cuppa? I had no idea. We sat on top of the barge with wine and a spliff and talked a lot about feeld and what they were expecting from this. It was their first time with a unicorn. They were excited. They wanted to mix things up a bit. I kissed her, he kissed me, we went inside. All fun and games until we were naked in bed and I'm suddenly taken out of the moment by the sounds of wimpering coming from the corner of the room. And there endeth this first adventure and the start of a common pattern - the boy wants a threesome and the girl THINKS she wants threesome until it actually happens. Leaving a weepy girl, a horny guy and me paying for an uber home. Once home my phone pinged 'sorry about that, she gets a bit jealous. Fancy meeting up just the two of us?" If he hadn't used the winky-face emoji, I might've been tempted.
Second interaction was in a pub. Lockdown was lifted and it was a hot summers day. I skipped through the park to meet a super hot local french couple. We had drinks and food and a very open conversation about how this was going to work. We went back to their place. God, they were sexy as hell. Clothes off, kissing, licking, biting - lots of delicious things until he starts fucking me from behind and I hear her say 'I bet she doesn't feel good as me'. I chose to ignore it but scarpered once the condom was off.
He later texted me to ask if we could meet separately. He could come over to mine and his partner never needed to know about it. Sigh.
My third and final experience was with a spanish couple. This was fun. They wined and dined me and took me to extravagant hotels. They were older and wiser and interesting and intelligent. I fell for them a little bit. I think they fell for me. We went to Venice for a sexy weekend away and stayed in the hotel room ordering champagne and cheeseburgers. They then invited me to their family villa in Seville - yes please, a lovely week away! I imagined sunbathing and sex and swimming and sex and fine-dining and sex. What i didn't imagine is that I'd be picked up from the airport by his aged parents and end up babysitting their niece. Yes, it turned out it was an extended family holiday and I'd somehow unknowingly become part of a thruple.
So that was it. My threesome unicorn adventures. I didn't think i'd be doing that in my late 30s. Unicorns are a rare magical creature but once the magic has gone you're just an animal with a horn.